Category Archives: life

Wake up I tell you just wake up

I feel asleep early, and woke up with the intense need to connect and write

… And the words just came – as they do more and more these days, especially as I’ve had a massively conscious and energy sensitive day of blissed out moments, so my words surprised me – they are so passionate and frustrated – this was a shout to the world (and my lower-self) … from my heart

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Expect the unexpected – part 6

  For the next few weeks I sunk into another deep depression,  I had never experienced such lows before and it was scary. I just couldn’t pull myself out of it. I felt abandoned by closes friends and disappointed by family members – and I closed the door on the world. No one really knew what I was going through other than my husband and my best friend.

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expect the unexpected part 3

I hurt, I really hurt.  I was unable to get myself out of bed without Harry lifting me gently and me wincing with pain – I was simply unable to do anything!

After years of meditation I naturally take very long deep breaths, but at this point I was unable to breathe anything more than  1-2 seconds before the pain kicked in! It was a horrid feeling and this was sort of  getting me down and on top of that the kids wanted cuddles and I couldn’t give them because it just bloody hurt so much.

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ITS BEEN A WHILE… i’m back!!

ok… SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much has happened since september

I have 3 blogs about after the attack… but it was sort of painful to post them… they’re half written – (well semi finished)

But I just had to move on from it – so didn’t want to go back there – HOWEVER now I am ready to share –

Lots of emails asking when I was going to finish off the story – sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger

However – watch this space – they are coming 🙂

In the mean time have some music, celebrate the winter sun… and be thankful

Love and light to you all

xxxxxxxxxxx


Expect the unexpected: Part 1

This is the soundtrack that was playing in my head just after the drama unfolded

Now, normally when I don’t blog, it’s because I’m having such a good time I just can’t fit it in…. or get over excited half write a blog and then … ooh look a squirrel! (hence the 20 odd half written blogs you’re yet to see)

I wanna keep this as short as possible because I think I’m going to write a few short blogs in regards to the roller coaster these past couple of  month have been…

All I was doing was waiting outside the shop for my husband!!  

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Someone To Watch Over Me

Had a lovely moment this morning. I was thinking I needed a bit of guidance as I was feeling unfocused and that always stirs an attack of the guilts! So I consulted my cards! (it’s the inner hippy in me!!) I was drawn to changing the music and let go of all my materialistic work related goals for the moment…

I put on an old playlist, and on pops Ella Fitzgerald – Someone To Watch Over Me.  I smiled and though ‘yes I just need a sign that someone is watching over me, helping to guide me on my decisions for today’. I tuned it up, feeling comforted by this lovely old song I found myself walking towards the window. Just that second my little Robin friend flew into the garden. I havent seen him for a month or so, and today he put on a real display ensuring I knew he was there… and once again I was brought to tears as the lyrics echoed in my heart

I know this hippy dippy gushy blog wont resonate with most… BUT for a few I know you’ll get it!

“Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?”

“I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood, I know I could, always be good, To one who’ll watch over me”


Soul Fairy Family

This weekend we headed over to our friends house in the New Forest  for a party and gathering of our gang – there’s a  few more babies since we all last got together 2 extra bundles of joy in the past 3 months!

I am blessed with the most awesomeness amount of friends in all parts of my life – this gang is my party hard gang. Over 10 years of festivals, raving and house parties with these guys and no amount of children has changed that!   in most of my blogs I go on about how much I love them all – and i do – they are what i live for

This weekend I had an epiphany!  Half giddy with love of the reunion of  my soul family friends and half giddy with the rum and apple juice cocktails I’d just discovered  (not too much apple BTW – If you’re wondering!)

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I can sing a rainbow


This morning I had a ‘moment’ when I went out of the office for a walk and everyone I passed smiled back at me.  As the rain started, the huge drops  hit my face and I felt this huge release,  like the rain was washing away the self-doubt that had begun to set into my mind over the past few days.

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baby steps – don’t move the goal posts! #21DaysOfGratitude 5/21

(Want to join in 21 days of Gratitude – find out more here)

“Baby steps Lou,  baby steps”. It’s what my mind whispers to me when its quiet. It says, look back and join up the dots, then you will you see where you have come from  –  THEN you will truly know what you have achieved. (that’s meditation for ya!)

It’s the subtle moves, the baby steps , the journey of our life, work, AND  relationships that is the real joy! When our goal focused  tunnel vision sets in, we miss the fun bits, the ride of OUR LIFE!

We forget to love the little things as intensely as we love the goal.. and then things get a little bit confused and we feel  disheartened!

See the growth of  the seeds that you have planted. I plant seeds everyday, without even really thinking about it. Then they grow and I rarely (and I mean this)  congratulate myself on what I have achieved! How sad is that? I don’t just mean in terms of work – I mean people, ideas, things I do, things I make, emails and messages I send. All those seeds that I Grow and never acknowledge / say well done to myself?!

Often when we do reach a  big goal, it’s a bit of an anti climax! Mainly because we’ve missed actually achieving it. OR we’re already looking for the next goal. OR if you’re like me, you get there but you’ve subconsciously just  moved the goal posts so you dont ever think you’ve actually achieved it  –  derrrr!!!! So the gratifying love for yourself  for having achieved  is, well… lost!  THAT’S NO GOOD, WHATS THE FUCKING POINT IN THAT THEN ?  🙂

So today’s wisdom was  –   Just roll with it, enjoy those moments, don’t force anything,  put your energy into what you love. What truly is meant to be will love you back and reward you with the same intensity that you love and deserve.   Continue reading


From river run in the sun to raving my ass off in a cinema! #21DaysOfGratitude 1/21

Gratitude Journal 

(Find out how to join in on the 21 days of gratitude)

Woke up at 5.30am with  a smile on my face even though Baby Bell had woken 4 times in the night – times like these i just hear the Finding Nemo phrase  ‘ just keep swimming just keep swimming’

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