Category Archives: Change

The cave of darkness and wonder


To reach the heights of the profound and beautiful I had to follow my heart into the the cave of darkness and face my hidden fears. Between Septembers Equinox and tomorrows winter solstice has brought to me the biggest levels of personal growth to date.

I have learned to travel to the darkest depths of my inner cave where the sun does not shine.

For someone who fly’s so high all the time, floating just below the clouds, who naturally runs off an unusual amount of serotonin, who sees the world through rose tinted glasses, who is so laid back about life nothing bothers her, who jumps out of bed and sings to the moon …this was a tough journey to CHOOSE to take!!!

To chose to follow my heart where pain was inevitable, to hear my guides whispering ‘my darling things need to be addressed before you can move on’ and do something about it is a bit like having to complete the level on supermario land before you can get to the next level!

BUT who wants to go to a place where negative feelings, sadness, and past hurts have been stored? NOT ME!  It was like walking into a Pandoras box – I would lay there at night doing Reiki on myself and rather than going to ‘the land of magical wonder’ I would go to ‘the cave of hell’ –  but it was safe, because I could feel that this was right, something telling me this was what needed to happen.

I visited this place over and over again in the past few months. Every time I come back to Lou Lou land, I am stronger, wiser, and happier.  I’M FREE!

I learned to face and heal old wounds, sit in the pain and learn about who I really am, why I am, and hear why it is my inner guide is trying to say to me. I finally learned to listen to myself and not ignore anything that actually hurts, I have finally learned how to make decisions that are right for me, even if they hurt at first.

I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, and I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.

I have learned that ignoring negative feelings is destructive and its ok to be sad, and when we acknowledge this sadness and face it, we  go on a discovery and find the true roots and heal and move on


Its been such a beautiful journey, in so many ways I feel my intuition is so alive its incredible more powerful than ever.. and i was pretty powerful before this journey, so now i feel ALIVE.. SO SO ALIVE

My reason for sharing is because I am open with the good and the bad, the ying and the yang…

I know I am a blissed out fairy floating in the flow of life, and have it good, i have creative a very beautiful world for myself ,  but I want to share with you that we all have dark time and that’s ok.  If we are not challenged then we will not grown.

The biggest and bravest choice is to be truthful with yourself and who you are and face what sometimes we don’t want to face… its ok to feel bad, there is no point in faking a smile – NEVER FAKE WHO YOU ARE.. just take the time and love for yourself fix whats going on inside and deal with it in a soft and gentile and positive way.

You gotta be true to yourself kids so you can grow xxxxxxxx love and light to you – wishing you all time to heal and love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On this note I would like  to say… i have the most wonderful husband who has been so supportive of my transformation, who just hangs out with me and allows me to just be still – real oak tree, and i have learned so much from his stillness  = he sent me this song the other day and its such a great track i love the lyrics .. he said i would!!

‘You can get lost in the music for hours, honey,
You can get lost in a room.
We can play music for hours and hours
But the sun’ll still be coming up soon.

The world’s not forgiving
Of everyone’s fears.
The days turn into months, the months turn into years.
So just for the moment, let’s be still’


…and so to clear, begin and process

I’ve always seen my life as a movie with a continuous soundtrack..  I get nostalgic when i look back and I gush with excitement when I look forward.  When I’m ‘in the now’ i normally cry with gratitude and peace –  and 75% of the time there is a the live sound track emphasising the moment – our world is continuously vibing from beautiful music.

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