A blog especially for those ‘GIVERS’ out there


We have all had times in life when we feel really disappointed with someone, a friend, lover, a family member,  work colleague, where you feel used, cheated, let down, rejected, dishonored or deceived.

You give your time, your energy, your love or even your heart and for what? for  pain, hurt, frustration , annoyance, anger or disappointment! …where’s the fairness in that?

So, You’re a kind person, you’re  A GIVER , you do so much for people , you’re always putting yourself out there,  always say yes! You give up your own time and drop everything to help because you’re a kind and giving person..

Ah, but sometimes you  feel resentful, feeling that this ‘giving nature’ of yours has been abused….

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Many chapters ago I felt like I was being used. My soul was running on empty, I felt my good nature was being manipulated and my love taken for granted. I felt  the more love I gave the more it was abused. I gave so much that I was left empty, saddened and sometimes lonely and confused.

I wanted acknowledgement  that I was a good person because I gave so much love. I wanted to someone to  put their arms around me and tell me I  was doing everything just right and that it wasn’t my fault that I was being taken advantage of.  I wanted conformation that I was the victim and  that  those who abused MY innocence &  my trust were  sucking my energy and were total shitbags!

When expressing this with my Yoda one day, he blessed me with a new seed of self awareness… the wisdom’s of my soul began to grow ..

The answers that came to me were not what I wanted to hear. I woke up to the awareness it was all my own doing!  


The awareness washed over me, I stood in the clearing of a woodland, the autumn leaves falling down on me like rain,  the stillness of my mind and the world around me  for those few seconds was eerie ….and then the insights fell as fast as the leaves in the wind.

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I could see that I had a good and caring soul, most of the time I was giving to the world with freedom in my heart, giving was part of my nature. I love to give, help and heal, in fact most of the time  I didn’t even think about what I was doing, it really was nothing, it was so easy to give  that it didn’t even cross my mind I  was giving. YET  there were times and certain people who cause me great pain.


If I was being hurt by someone then there was an ulterior motive in my kindness and love.  The only time I felt pain or frustration in giving was when I had not given unconditionally.

Looming deep in the  back of my unconscious  thought patterns was the answer I did not want to hear… I was expecting a return of love and gratitude and when I did not get that back I was pained

My thought pattern went deep…

“If I give to you,  you will be grateful and  you will love me. Your Love and appreciation of me will fill a hole hidden deep within me which is lacking of self worth and value. When I feel valued and important then I feel whole THEN I feel like I have a place on this earth…

Boom!!  fuck!! wow!!!! …. NOT at all where I thought that was going!!

So with this very painful truth I walked the path of wisdom and healed  that thought process to ensure I never traveled that crazy pattern again!

Yoda showed me the direction of learning to GIVING WITHOUT GIVING YOURSELF AWAY and I spent time on my own learning about where these feeling steam from, and healing them. And on that path of self discovery here is what I learned:

To master the art of ‘Give without giving yourself away’ is one of the most liberating lessons of self development. It comes with a reward of freedom and peace,  but this is only a lesson that comes  to you when you can admit your own truth.

Opening and revealing the motives of your actions and reactions to yourself,  exposing the part of YOU that you have been hiding from yourself  and exposing the truth in why we constantly devalue ourselves to give to the point of being used is the first step to freedom of mind.. 

Ask yourself, why are some good people taken advantage of and other good people not? Why do you keep traveling the same road over and over again feeling the same hurt, when others do not?  
When we realise it’s not THEM hurting us, it is mealy us hurting ourselves we begin to accept that WE have a choice to do what we do, a choice to feel how we  want to feel.

How much self worth do  you really have? What is the truth you seeking beyond your actions and reactions.. Remember we  have freedom and choices, the only chains we have are that of our own mind, when we see  where the patterns begin, you will free yourself!

Give freely and you wont even be aware you are giving  

When we are rooted and feel our self worth  the overriding opinion of others does not sway our choice.

And always remember that very few people use and abuse people on a conscious level and if they do then we have to ask ourselves why we are giving to them in the first place… Most humans are good souls just cocking up in their self awareness, sometimes we have to pinch ourselves to remember to forgive them for their ignorance for our own peace and then thank them for the lessons the bring in personal self discovery. 



About Having Cake And Eating It

Playful, Carefree, Radio Presenter, Entrepreneur, Mentor, Music & Festival LOVER, Hypocritical Hippy, Reiki Master, Sweary Dyslexic Blogger, Crazy Mum & Wife) View all posts by Having Cake And Eating It

3 responses to “A blog especially for those ‘GIVERS’ out there

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