You are incomparable baby…

I spent most of my late teens and early adult life with the crippling self limiting belief that I was a ‘bit thick’ therefore would never ‘Get a good job and be successful in life’. This stayed with me for years suppressing any awareness of what real value I had to give the world.

… call it self discovery, self awareness or simply ‘ growing up’  I now know that way of thinking is utter bollox…

As a teenager I was put in that ambiguous pigeon-hole of  ‘The People Person’. This  lead me to believe that the only thing I was good at was being  ‘a good time girl & agony aunt to my friends! I ASSUMED people didn’t really think I was going to amount to much.

As children we are taught our value  is measured on our academic intelligence which is represented by our grades in school. Quite frankly my grades sucked ass!  I relied on my ability to get friends to do my homework and smooze the teachers so they would keep me in their class and not drop me down a set (what I see now as incredible social intelligence).  I blagged my way through school and university ‘creatively’ avoiding anything that would cause me to be seen as failing!

I spent most of my 20’s trying to prove to myself and to others that I wasn’t thick and I could keep up with the A graders in life.

Looking back, I did really well but I felt all my achievements were a bit fraudulent. I felt I had blagged my way into work & business!  My only drive to be successful was just to prove a point to people I wasn’t thick! (not that anyone was judging me – it was all in my head!) and looking back now I’m super impressed with what I did do and what I do now – I never really gave myself any credit back then and only just learning to now.

These days I find myself surrounded with a  lot of ‘Bright’ friends who I see as really successful. I am super proud of them and their achievements. In my eyes they have amazing talents, cool job titles and great businesses.  I see their abilities and skills way beyond any of my own capabilities. They are incredible! However, it tuns out that a lot of my  friends also feel like frauds!  They don’t feel good enough to be doing what they are doing  because they are also tarnished with self doubt. (I scoffed at  this because at school they would’ve been the kids who felt unworthy because they only got B’s and not A’s)

Their lack of self belief used to baffle me, how can they think so little of themselves when I think they are fucking awesome!  With all the love in my heart I would tell them off for comparing themselves to others and help them to see how incredibly talented they are in their own way – IQ has nothing to do with how well they do their jobs!

… funny how I seemed too blind to take some of my own advice!!

What is this self chastising  culture we seem to be apart of …  where did it all go so wrong that we only measure people by their IQ! What about all the other talents? If we all had high IQ’s the world would be a pretty boring place!


Wanna know the reason why? ..Because your own personal talents that you have can’t be measured or compared.  You being You comes so naturally that you don’t think its special!! You may even find yourselves getting frustrated with others because they struggle doing a certain thing or acting in a certain way .. things that you find easy!

Your own personal strengths comes to you with such ease that you don’t even think about it. We’re not necessary talking academic here – we’re talking socially and emotionally and across the board of multiple  intelligence’s – be that  listening and understanding people, wiring up an entire computer networks or cutting old men’s toe nails. We all have elements to us that others don’t  and its important to value all the positives about ourselves. Both in business and in life we need a mix set of skills to achieve amazing things!



You being you, is your value

For me – I can now see my value,  and YES I AM a people person, and you know what – I excel at it.

Now I KNOW I have value  –  but I never knew because It wasn’t tested on this at school!



About Having Cake And Eating It

Playful, Carefree, Radio Presenter, Entrepreneur, Mentor, Music & Festival LOVER, Hypocritical Hippy, Reiki Master, Sweary Dyslexic Blogger, Crazy Mum & Wife) View all posts by Having Cake And Eating It

4 responses to “You are incomparable baby…

  • Alison Crook

    Tears flowing freely now as you have captured such an amazing Life Lesson; Louise you have blossomed from the Ugly Duckling to an articulated, beautiful Swan(btw i typed Duckling originally with an “F” which was quite ironic! Lol)
    Your lessons in life, through your blog and from just being you are astounding and reassuring to read and hear. Keep learning and teaching us to be “us” in your own magical way. Love you.

  • Kelly Wrigglesworth

    Today is the start of sats weeks for 11 year olds and this blog screams sense to me this morning. So true! I try all the time to convince children in my class that this is the case trying so hard to reassure those children that not achieving a level 4 or 5 in a sats doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to success in adulthood. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. If I was in school (maternity leave) I’d be reading this to my year 6s this morning. Let’s try and stop this academic pressure on our children and give them opportunities to shine in other areas. I remembered things you used to say about feeling ‘thick’ in school and that has made me more aware of children I may have that feel way and me being an ‘average, blend in the background wallpaper’ child I’m more aware of the need to bring little personalities to the forefront.
    Glad I read this x

  • Bec

    What a lovely blog, thank you. I have to admit I have not been feeling my value recently, and it was nice to read through this and feel a bit better about myself. Thank you! xx

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