Monthly Archives: January 2013

Expect the unexpected part 7. The End – And the Beginning !


By the Full Blue Moon I had begun to heal physically & emotionally.  8 weeks on,   it was now  time to climb out of the hole.

Grateful for the experience of it all – the emotions, the lessons, the growth, the empathy for others, the insight –  I was now ready to come back to me…

As I looked back and remembered the enlightened moments I had on the door step,  the sounds of Orbitals Belfast ranging in my ears. I looked up to the sky,  then looked to my phones flight radar app. She was off –  my best friend was off to start a new life

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Expect the unexpected – part 6

  For the next few weeks I sunk into another deep depression,  I had never experienced such lows before and it was scary. I just couldn’t pull myself out of it. I felt abandoned by closes friends and disappointed by family members – and I closed the door on the world. No one really knew what I was going through other than my husband and my best friend.

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Expect the unexpected – part 5

The days merged into one and the inward battle of love and pain flowed through me – fleeting feelings of  being alone and feeling like I had the world at my feet.

I chatted daily to my best friend daily and she kept me afloat, I sensed she had something to tell me but was worried because I was so vulnerable  but I guessed and took the words out of her mouth for her

‘You’re going aren’t you’

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Expect the unexpected – part 4

All I remember for the next few days was sinking somewhere I had never been before.

My mom had to take 3 days off work and come help – Harry’s work was stacking up and the pressure was on – and it was fucking annoying I couldn’t do anything – physically or emotionally.

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expect the unexpected part 3

I hurt, I really hurt.  I was unable to get myself out of bed without Harry lifting me gently and me wincing with pain – I was simply unable to do anything!

After years of meditation I naturally take very long deep breaths, but at this point I was unable to breathe anything more than  1-2 seconds before the pain kicked in! It was a horrid feeling and this was sort of  getting me down and on top of that the kids wanted cuddles and I couldn’t give them because it just bloody hurt so much.

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ITS BEEN A WHILE… i’m back!!

ok… SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much has happened since september

I have 3 blogs about after the attack… but it was sort of painful to post them… they’re half written – (well semi finished)

But I just had to move on from it – so didn’t want to go back there – HOWEVER now I am ready to share –

Lots of emails asking when I was going to finish off the story – sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger

However – watch this space – they are coming 🙂

In the mean time have some music, celebrate the winter sun… and be thankful

Love and light to you all

xxxxxxxxxxx