When I got home I was overcome with exhaustion. I felt really guilty because I didn’t understand why I was so tired. I had to leave Harry to sort the kids and prop myself up on the sofa in another room away from the noise and chaos.
I was cold and emotionally just felt a bit numb. Again, I couldn’t quite get my head round why I was feeling like this – it’s not like I was stabbed or anything… it’s just a few cracked ribs. I just didn’t think it was a big deal.I crawled into bed about 9 o’clock and passed out surrounded with pillows
At midnight I woke, I couldn’t breathe, I really couldn’t breathe and my ribs hurt so much I couldn’t pull myself up out of bed. It was awful and panic hit me “HARRY HARRY HARRY get me up, get me up, FUCK get me up”.
He woke and pulled me up. I was so so hot and sweating so much I could feel the drops rolling down my back, I found myself stripping off through the pain and stumbling towards the bathroom. My mind took over and I just needed to cool down, I lay on the cold tile floor and then I uncontrollably began to shake. I felt like I was having a weird out-of-body experience – My body was shaking and I couldn’t do anything but stare at Harry locking eyes with him. At that moment in time he felt like my only connection to earth, the safely net he has always been in my life was holding me with just his eyes. I was terrified. ” Lou i’m call gonna call an ambulance” I managed to just mumble “YES” in that moment I actually thought I was going to die!!!
I think a few minutes later harry saw me start to come round. No ambulance needed!
I don’t remember anything else, but I presume Harry managed to get me into bed and consulted DR Google – and I had ticked every box for Shock.
I woke up the next morning and I felt like the whole world was beautiful and bright and this HUGE awareness of how amazing life was washed over me… this was to be the first in many lessons
To be continued…